I'm done being second choice.

I had this friend who I’ve dated on and off for the past fourteen years.  During that time, I have never hurt him, cheated, used him for his money or anything rude and nasty. We always seemed to have a really good time when we were together. One of the problems that I seem to have with him is he allows this other girl to get heavily involved with the relationship between him and I.  After going through this time after time, I always think that he’s going to change and see things the way they really are. This girl has been very negative towards me for a very long time. He ended up dating her after he had walked away from me (seems to be his Mode of Operation.) When he was with her, she hurt him a lot in many ways. What I don’t understand is, why would you want to be around someone who has hurt you more than once? She ended up being with his best friend, while still with him, tore his heart out and married his friend.  Meanwhile, I’m on the sidelines hoping he would come to his senses. It’s kind of funny now, but when I tell him the truth, he knows this; he always gets mad at me and defends her. Doesn’t that seem backwards?  He always tells me that he loves me and he wants us to be together, but yet he allows this girl to have such control over him. The way I see it, if you really love and care for someone as much as he says he does, you would think that he would make something happen, so that our relationship could move forward. You would also think that he would tell this girl to basically shove off and mind her own life and let us have ours. It’s been a hard pill to swallow, but I truly think that for some reason, he likes that sort of treatment.  I also truly believe that they are in love with one another. Why else would he hurt me so badly?  The thing with me is that I have a very difficult time letting go of people, and I shouldn’t have let this go on for so long. After all is said and done, I’m truly having to let this man go and finally free myself from all the crap I end up going through with him.