Story of Free Spirits Part six

After the meeting, the girls paired up with their partners and started working on their own assignment. Harmony paired up with a girl named Jessie Ray, who was a lot like her, so they would do well together. They decided to stay at the office to come up with a design and talk about what might give the hallway a look of classiness. The other four girls decided to go back to their apartment to work there. Twenty minutes later, the girls tried to come up with something. They had no inspiration. One of the girls suggests to get a cup of coffee. They walk to a coffee shop and each buy a drink and decide to walk back to the office to get a better look at space they are working with. As Harmony and Jessie are working, the other four girls walked in to discuss the project as a group.  After discussing in detail what each group would undertake, they start going to work.

Story of Free Spirits, Part Five

 Harmony arrived in New York City around 9:00 in the morning. She was greeted by her new boss, Mr. Perkins and two of his assistants. Along with his company, he also owns a small apartment building, where the interns could stay during the duration of the internship. Harmony and the five other interns share the apartment. They meet with each other and settle in. After doing so, they went to his company and art gallery. He took the group around his business and showed them all the in’s and out’s on the company. After they toured the gallery, they go back to the meeting room to find out what their big assignment is.

 

Story of Free Spirits, Part Four

Harmony did not let Carrie know that her internship was across the country in New York City. She tried to talk to Carrie by leaving messages, but Carrie would not return her calls, nor would she talk to Harmony when she went to try to see her at the gallery.   Before leaving for New York, Harmony tried one last time to say goodbye to Carrie. But Carrie allowed her stubbornness to get in the way of their friendship, so Harmony left for her plane without saying goodbye.  

Story of Free Spirits, Part Three

Harmony went into the gallery the next day after a long night of thinking about her conversation with Mr. Perkins. Her mind was made up and she was very excited, because she was offered a well-paid internship. At the time, she wasn’t making very much money at the gallery, so she thought this would help her financially and it would also promote her name in the art industry. As she was going to the gallery, she knew she had to tell Carrie. She took a deep breath before she talked to her friend about the offer and told her she was taking it. Carrie reacted in an angry way toward Harmony’s news and told her to just leave the gallery and not return.

Veteran's Day

 I'd rather be sleeping in today and stay under the covers, where it's warm, but I'm working today.. For others though, their offices are closed and they're either in their warm homes or participating in the Veteran's Day Parade.Either way, we can be thankful for those who risk their lives to save our country.

Story of Free Spirits, Part two

As a blond haired, blue eyed man walked around, he seemed very interested in Carrie and Harmony’s work. He wore a suit, tie and was very prim and proper. He was way opposite of the girls, but he seemed to really like their work. The girls walked over to the man and introduce themselves to him. The man introduces himself as Tom Perkins and goes on talking about how he likes both of their painting, but he talks mostly with Harmony. Carrie feels as though she’s being ignored and her paintings are being unnoticed. Carrie walks away a little, acting as though she’s doing something else. She overhears Tom give Harmony a run down on his company and gives her his business card. He shakes both girl’s hands and leaves. Carrie wants to confront Harmony on what Tom discussed with her in her gallery.   

Josh Turner Concert

 

                               

About three or four months ago, my best friend Janell called me and left a messege saying that she had just gotten tickets for October to go see county music singer, Josh Turner. I was so excited, because we both love him and adore the way he sings. After waiting and waiting, the night finally came last night. Janell and her mom, Janet, came over and picked me up and then we went to pick up Janell's sister, Joy.  From there, we went to the FOX theater and found a good parking space and  went in and found our seats. We had pretty good seats. We sat in row 11, so we had a good view of the stage.We were there for about thirty to forty minutes until things actually got started. When it did actually start,  new country music singer, Caitlin Linney came out first and sang a few of her songs. She was alright, but we wanted to see Josh. When he finally came out, it was great. The concert lasted about two hours and it was really fun to be there. He sang a lot of songs, including Long Black Train, Time is Love and many  others. All in all,  it was a very nice time. Not only did I get to see one of  my favorite singers, but I got to spend some quality time with good friends.

    

Reunion Weekend

Back in 1997, I went to Taft College and attended the Transition to Independent Living program. It is a program that teaches people with disabilities how to live on our own. Every five years, they put together a reunion for all of the alumni who attended in the past. This past weekend, I went to my third reunion. They had it at the Marriot hotel in downtown Bakersfield.  Everyone met up around five on Saturday evening in the front lobby for social hour. There were a lot of people, most I knew and others from graduated classes after me. Around six, we gathered in the banquet room where we were served dinner. During dinner, Sandy, who is the program director, stood up and spoke about TIL, how she was happy to see all of us and how much we have grown in the past years. Jeff, Director of Student Support Services at Taft College, was not able to make the reunion.  He made a video of himself which we saw on screen at the reunion.  He was in the middle of construction of the newTIL building.  He explained to us where the new dorms were going to be and the classes, and then he wished us all well. After dinner, we had our dance and basically everyone danced, mingled with friends, so on and so forth. The dance ended around 11:30, when we all went back to our hotel rooms. The Marriot was booked for the weekend, so I stayed at the Hill House across the street, along with a few others who booked their own rooms.

Story of the Free Spirits

This is Harmony Marie. She is a free spirited soul who loves people who see's her for who she really is. Her attitude toward others is a screw you attitude, if you like her, great and if you don't, oh well. She's gotten to the point, where she just doesn't really care what you may think of her. She lives in a fantasy world in San Francisco. Her friends adore her for who she is. When they walk down the street, people look at her with amazement, beacause she carries herself with a piercing glow. Her best friend is Carrie Flower and she doesn't give a damn. She works in an art gallery, where she displays her life the way she see's it. Harmomy Marie sometimes works with Carrie at the gallery. One day, an art executive came in and caught the girls off guard......


Is the suspense killing you? 

Changes to Getting Around Town

I have lived in this town now for about 14 years and the whole time I mostly get around by public transportation. Some may say that they don’t care for it, but it does work for me and it saves on gas. Well, after all these years, the bus system decided to change all their routes.  Not only that, but they are also changing the numbers of the buses from simple to complicated, like they have in the Los Angeles area. I know change is good, but it will be a major change for everyone involved. For instance, as of right now, I take two buses to get to my destination and back. This change will take place October 7^th and my way to  get there will involve taking three buses and crossing unsafe areas. Honestly, why can’t they just leave things alone!? Instead, why not leave the current routes the way they are and just add to them? Oh well, we’ll see how it goes. It’ll be interesting.

Working on me!

For the past couple of weeks, I have been dealing with a ton of emotions, from being happy to being sad and upset. I don't really understand what was wrong with me last week, but I felt as though everyone hated me, but it turned out it was my own insecurities. For the longest time, I've stayed away from medication for depression; thinking I can fight this on my own. I would be doing well, but only for a little while and I'd go back to feeling sad again. I finally gave in, because I am stubborn as a mule. I saw my Doctor about last week and he put me on one medication for it. Starting Thursday,  I took one that night, Friday, Saturday and Sunday night and every day, I woke up feeling very crappy. I decided not to take one Monday night and woke up feeling much better Tuesday. Because of this, I called my Dr. to let him know and ended up seeing him again yesterday. He put me on another type and it ends up working well with me. I don't care to be sad all the time, that's not me, so I hope that with this little bit of help, I can go back to being who I'm supposed to be.

Major Breakthrough

This past weekend has been very emotional and eventful. I went to an event at Calvary Chapel Church for a day of legacy. It was Danielle's Legacy Women's event. Sherrill, the mother of Danielle who lost her life in a car accident in 2004, hosted the event. Since then, she made it her mission to have this event every year in August to express and celebrate the legacy of not only Danielle, but every women. I heard about the event and wanted to go, so I did. Sherrill had a guest speaker come and speak. This lady was someone who Danielle admired. Danielle was reading one of her books when the car accident happened. The first half of the speeches went well. We went to lunch and then came back for the second half. Things were going good. They had a talent show and several people got up to give tribute and talk about what God has done and how He's affected their lives. I was doing pretty well and one of the girls, Julie, spoke about her life. It was as if she was speaking to me. Some of what she's dealing with, I'm dealing with too, such as God has control with my life, but the Devil is trying to take it too. Tug-a-war kind of thing. I got really emotional and ended up going to the bathroom and just cried. I cried for a long time and couldn't stop. Well, instead of embracing it and showing my weaknesses, I went home instead. I felt bad about leaving, but in the same, I didn't want to let anyone see me cry. I went home and went to bed. Later on that night, I heard someone knocking on my door. I looked at the clock and it said 12:00 a.m. I thought, who can that be? I thought it was my ex-boyfriend, David. It turned out it was my best fiend, Elaine. She had come by needing to talk. I didn't know that at the time and the shadow I saw left. Later, she told me it was her and I felt really bad. Sunday was a laid back, lazy day. Monday, I wasn't feeling too good, so decided to stay in bed for the morning. As I'm sleeping, I heard a knock at the door. Thinking it may be Elaine or someone else, I got up to answer it. I opened the door and there stands my ex, David. I thought, "oh geez." Before this happened, he'd been calling and and leaving messeges on my phone, some of them kind of rude, by the way. I didn't answer, because I have nothing to say to him and he hurt me many times before. The next thing I know, he's standing outside, asking to come in and talk. With a firm tone to my voice and an uphappy look on my face, I basically told him that there was nothing to talk about. I didn't want to see or talk to him ever again and to basically stay out of my life and never come back. All he had to say was "ok." After everything that he has put me through in the last fourteen years, I felt very happy to know that I'm not going to have to deal with all the BS anymore. The experiences I went through in the last few days has taught me that I need to open up to people and allow my emotions to show more and be raw and share them.

I'm done being second choice.

I had this friend who I’ve dated on and off for the past fourteen years.  During that time, I have never hurt him, cheated, used him for his money or anything rude and nasty. We always seemed to have a really good time when we were together. One of the problems that I seem to have with him is he allows this other girl to get heavily involved with the relationship between him and I.  After going through this time after time, I always think that he’s going to change and see things the way they really are. This girl has been very negative towards me for a very long time. He ended up dating her after he had walked away from me (seems to be his Mode of Operation.) When he was with her, she hurt him a lot in many ways. What I don’t understand is, why would you want to be around someone who has hurt you more than once? She ended up being with his best friend, while still with him, tore his heart out and married his friend.  Meanwhile, I’m on the sidelines hoping he would come to his senses. It’s kind of funny now, but when I tell him the truth, he knows this; he always gets mad at me and defends her. Doesn’t that seem backwards?  He always tells me that he loves me and he wants us to be together, but yet he allows this girl to have such control over him. The way I see it, if you really love and care for someone as much as he says he does, you would think that he would make something happen, so that our relationship could move forward. You would also think that he would tell this girl to basically shove off and mind her own life and let us have ours. It’s been a hard pill to swallow, but I truly think that for some reason, he likes that sort of treatment.  I also truly believe that they are in love with one another. Why else would he hurt me so badly?  The thing with me is that I have a very difficult time letting go of people, and I shouldn’t have let this go on for so long. After all is said and done, I’m truly having to let this man go and finally free myself from all the crap I end up going through with him.

A Big Decision to Make

On Wednesday, my Dad and I went to see the Orthepedic who did surgery on my hip when I was 15 years old. He sat and talked with us for a good 30-40 minutes. He went into detail about a couple different options of surgery I can get. He talked about one option more than the other. We talked about the procedure, where he would go in and cut the ball and bone completly off, which means I wouldn't be able to have a hip replacement later in life. The other option would be a hip fusion, where they would fuse my hip together at a 30 degree angle. My hip would then be stiff, but I wouldn't be in pain anymore. The recovery time would be a lot longer than the first procedure. He explained to me that I probably wouldn't be able to move much during that time, which means I'd have to be in bed for at least three months, if not more, just to allow it to heal. After this ordeal is over, he said that I'd be able to function, but not be able to move my hip. I'd be able to bear weight on it and walk on it. I just don't know if I would be able to handle it. I don't have to make a decision right now, but in the next few months I do. However, I'm still not sure what I'm going to do.

Better Days Ahead

As you know from previous posts, I've been dealing with pain in my left hip for a long, long time now. Something that I  definitely want to change for sure. My Dad and I went to speak to an Orthepedic this past Friday. He was very nice and respectful. He sat down with us and explained that hip surgery was just out of the question, but he talked to another Orthepedic, Dr. A, who actually performed hip surgery on my hip 20 years ago. He could go in and cut the piece of bone that is causing the pain and take it out. I wouldn't have a lot of muscle there anymore, so I'd have to be more aware of putting weight on that side, but he did inform me that the muscle tissue would grow back in time.  In the long run, the procedure would take most of my pain away. We have to go back on Wednesday to see Dr. A and make a surgery date. Though I'm a little nervous about it, it'll be better in the long run.

Keeping Faith!

God is a major influence in life. I have always belived in God and his faith, but I've had my dark times too. I struggle in understanding why he wants me the way I am. I've had this thinking that if I didn't have this disabilty, my life would be better. I've been really focusing on God's will and what he has for me. Especially, for the last 10 years, I've been struggling with my goals and everyday life. I have overcome a lot, but my mind set is that I want more out of life. When I say more, I mean doing things that most people take for granted, such as not being in daily pain, being able to get up on Sunday mornings and go to church and so on and so forth. Though I do go though this, somehow, I still have faith enough to go farward and hope that God has a way to take away my pain. It's been a slow time coming, but next friday I'm seeing the orthepedic about my hip. With my faith in God, I hope something positive comes out of this visit.

Cutting Ties!

You know how there are people in your life, like an ex boyfriend, who you just don't want to deal with anymore? Their negativity can be overpowering and bring you down. I was with someone for a year or so, but it wasn't a lovey dovey kind of relationship. I guess I was with him because I didn't want to be alone. Throughout the time, I was not happy. He has a child with a disability and you would think he would be a tad bit more sensitive about the comments he says. He not only would say things about my disability and my wheelchair, but he would also make comments about his son. He made it sound like his son was a burden to him. I feel that he has many issues with himself that he feels like he has to put others down to make himself feel better. I saw him yesterday and I was not impressed. I have come to a place where instead of being with someone I don't mesh with, I'd rather be by myself until I find someone who will accept for who I am, along with my flaws. I would like to find someone who I can have conversations with and basically be myself without being criticized.  

Sharing Something with You.

For the last few months, I've been working on short stories for children. I wanted to share with you one of my stories. My aspiration for these stories is to share them with children so they can learn the acceptance of other people. I feel if they are taught at a young age how to accept people and their differences, they will be more likely to accept people for who they are.     Feel free to comment and let me know what you think.

Sadie Reaches the Top:

*There was a clown named Sadie. She loved going to the circus to watch the many circus acts.  She knew she was different, but she still wanted to join to be a part of something.  She joined the team to be a part of the high wire act. She had to practice a lot to get it right. The other clowns teased her and told her she wouldn’t be able to do it, because she was smaller than they were. Her feelings were hurt a little, but she wanted to prove them wrong. When it was time for the show, Sadie got on the high wire and showed everyone her ability to perform her stunts. The other clowns were amazed at what she had done, because they were afraid of heights. Even though Sadie was small, she was still able to perform the high wire act  and amaze the audience and the other clowns.  Story of acceptance. Pushes through and works hard.

In Slow Progress

For the longest time, I have been dealing with a lot of pain in my left hip. I've been to orthopedic doctors before, but they gave me options I wasn't comfortable with. I also get cortizone shots every six months, but those only last a month, two months at the most.  I went to an orthopedic yesterday with my surrogate Dad and my friend, Andrea, for moral support. The doctor showed us my x-rays and he told us that I'm a special case, because it's rare that he sees cases such as mine. He referred me to an orthopedic in a city a couple hours away. I have yet to see him, but I hope and pray that there is something that can be done to where I'm not hurting all the time. That would be a dream com true.

Learning Who's Trustworthy

How do you know when people are your true friend? To me, when you become friends with somebody, I think that is a great gift and it means a lot. You are always there for each other and have each other's back when things get rough. This week, I learned a lesson from someone who I thought wanted to rekindle a friendship, but it didn't turn out in a positive way. It's kind of funny, because she took offense to a Facebook post I had written about friendship. It wasn't a big deal or anything, but she started to write negative things about me on her page. I responded, "really? seriously?" She began attacking me through facebook, where she used a lot of profane words towards me where my mutual friends could easily read them. Instead of viewing other comments she had, I just deleted her quickly and took care of eliminating worthless negativity. As I spoke with her on the phone a week prior, I heard a voice in my head saying, "don't trust her." Even though I had that little ounce of hope, that voice was right. Even though you may know someone for a long time, you may not know their true intentions. They may turn on you in a heartbeat. I've learned to be cautious of who I let in my life. Even though there are people who can't be trusted, I still have a few friends that still stick with me through the good and the bad. I thank them for being my true friend.

New Look

I just updated my blog and changed the appearance to better reflect who I am. I come from the desert and considered a desert rat. I've always loved the desert. This page is generally for you to read about what I go through on a weekly basis with my struggles. Some days are harder than others but somehow I get through.  Feel free to leave your comments.

Thank you!

Daily Struggles

I have daily struggles that I face on a day to day basis because of my hip pain. Some of the issues I go through involve having a hard time getting out of bed, tiredness, headaches, and sometimes it makes me not want to do anything or go anywhere. I also use a wheelchair to get around. On top of all of that, I also have to deal with taking public transportaion to get around, which at times, can be the icing on the cake. Most of the time, it's good, but there are times, such as today where I face drivers with a negative attitude. As I was getting on the bus, the driver made a comment to another passenger on how he does not like to take the time to help people in wheelchairs, but I just shook my head. Even though I have these struggles, I get up in the morning and push through to what needs to be done. I have my own personal goals that I want to accomplish. I have a job and I'm working on several different writting projects. I think it's important to stay positive, because it would be so easy for me to say "I give up," but that's not in my vocabulary. I'm  stronger than that and I like being challenged.

Birthdays!

Well, another year has come and gone, turning another year older. I don’t mind revealing my age, because I do not feel 35 years old. Honestly, I feel much younger and people think I’m younger than what I am, so it’s all good. Friday morning, I spent  it with three really good people, one being my 2^nd Dad, who came in to the room I was in, singing Happy Birthday and told me that now he has two daughters with the same birthday… J  I have to say that I feel really blessed to be like a daughter to this man, because he means the world to me, just like my own Dad and I hope he knows that. I’m very happy where I am right now with all the people I love and adore.  Later on that day, my Mom and Dad came over and we went out for my birthday. We went to Red Lobster, they have such good food there. Along with my Mom and Dad, we had a few other friends with us, my best friend, Janell, our good family friends, Stan, Valerja, Marty and Richard. It all made out to be a good day… 

What kind of things do you do for your birthdays?

Fun Experiences!

I have mentioned it in the last couple weeks that I am wriiting a book about my life. I thought it be neat to share something I've gotten to experience within my life time.

Skydiving is something I think that deep down in there soul, people would like to do or try sometime throughout their lifetime. I’m not any different. I think I started wanting to go in my late teens, because I saw someone else do it and thought “ohh, I want to do that”. My friend Janell Walker and I had gone over to her mother and father n law’s house one day. I got to talking with Gary’s dad, Bruce about the subject and he was all hyped up about it and said “you wanna go”, well, of course, I said hell yeah!. I remember it being a cool, crisp feel good kind of day in November of 2001 or 2002. Myself, Janell, Gary, Bruce and Amy went out to Taft Skydiving, because Bruce and I went skydiving that day. When we got there, it around nine in the and there were several people waiting to go up before up, but ok with me, because I was starting to butterflies and very nervous, but also excited. As we were waiting, we watched people come down and go up, then after awhile, it was time for us get prepped. We had to watch this 20-30 minute video about the safety of skydiving and the we got into our cool looking gear, lol. Both Bruce and I went tandum, which means I was hooked on to another guy, I was in the front and he was in the back, the same with Bruce. I’m glad that we went tandum, because if I had done it solo, I probably wouldn’t have been here today. We waited a few more minutes the Cesna to land and come back around the landing strip to pick up. The four of us went out to plane and loaded up. Bruce and his guy got in first and sat toward the rear and myself and my guy sat up front right by the door. Well, hearing that, you can guess who had to jump out first. As the plane got ready to take off, my heart was just pounding up a storm. It was so freaking cool that we were doing this and Bruce was just as excited as I was. We took off toward the sky, meanwhile, we were getting hooked and adjusted to our instructors. Mine hooked about four to six different clips to where I wasn’t going anywhere. I remember having to wear goggles too so to cover the eyes from dirt and wind. It was so pretty as I was looking out the window at the valley below us and as we went higher and higher, things got smaller.  Believe we ended up at 10,000 ft, which scared the crap out me. As we got to that elevation, we were ready to jump. My guy opened the door and the moment he did, the wind just roared loudly, I was so scared by that time, but after going all that way and sharing that special time with Bruce, I wasn’t going to turn back now. We were there, my guy asked me “you ready”, I said ok” we well sideways and we were gone in a split second. I can’t even explain all the emotions that I feeling, but I know I was scared at that moment. The amount of speed that we were going as we fell was tremendous. We had to have been going at least 150 miles an hour through the air. I didn’t really care for the first few minutes of it, because we were going so fast and the was slammin my face, it was to breath as we freefell for what it felt like a long time, but it only about 2 or so minute until he pulled the parachute. Once he pulled the parachute, that thing shot us up a long way until we started to glide the rest of the way down. Once we were gliding down, it was so much better. I was looking all around, it was so pretty up there, I could see for miles. Toward the end, we were coming down for our landing. My guy did a pretty good job, with our feet out, we came to a smooth landing. Bruce was behind me, his landing was smooth also. As we got unhooked from everything, everyone else came to join us, because we landed out in the field. The way we got back to the hanger, was they have a hearst that came to take us back, what a way to end our skydiving adventures, come back again! Believe it or not, Bruce and I went again the next year.    

I would like to hear an experience that you have tried and had fun doing so...

Relationships

When it comes to relationships, I deal with the same obstacles and issues as any other woman out there. A couple years ago, I dated a guy named Ramon. He and I really liked one another and things were really good. We did a lot together, such as go on out of town trips with People First and go to dances together. After eight or so months I broke it off with him, because at the time, I had alot going on and I felt overwelmed. He didn't do anything wrong, but I guess I wasn't ready for anything serious with a good guy. A few months later, I started dating someone else. We were together for about a year and a half.  Throughout that time, I was NOT very impressed. Have you ever been with or been around someone who has so many excuses for so many things? I've never met anyone with so many excuses. It was so diffacult to be with someone with such a negative energy that it reflected on me. Because of that, I knew we wern't going to have a future together as anything more than just friends. Throughout my time with this person, I kept thinking about Ramon, where he was and what he was doing. A year or so later, Ramon and I started talking again. I have realized that I let a good thing go. We started talking recently and those butterfly feelings came rushing back. I have learned that in relationships, when you develop those strong feelings, don't run away from them. Those types of feelings are hard to come by with the right person. 

Share your relationship advice or stories in the comments below.

First Post

Today is the first day of  starting my blog. I hope to have people read my blog as I update some of my challenges I face on a weekly basis. I hope to encourage people to face their fears and to reach their goals.